Cocktail Smokies
by Zeus on the Loose
Summary: This is a "Barbie-meets-my little pony-meets-Bob the Builder-meets-Teletubbies-meets-Dora-meets-Strawberry Shortcake-meets-Handy Manny-meets-Sesame Street-meets-us" story. Many crazy things happen--so be warned.
1. In Which We Meet Dora

ChapterONE: In which we meet Dora

Mynt's P.O.V.

We were sitting, innocently watching Dora on the couch with my cousin Mabel when it all happened.

**Oliver: What all happened?**

**Mynt: Shut up! You're not part of the story! Well anyways…**

Our surroundings started to change. Everything was becoming blockier and more cartoon-ish. I thought that I might have fallen asleep on the couch and was dreaming of Dora 'cause suddenly I heard a high pitched squeaking noise that sounded a lot like Boots. _Too_ much like Boots.

Zeus' P.O.V.

Mynt and I were watching Dora with Mynt's cousin Mabel when suddenly we were in Dora. Without Mabel.

**Addy: Are there going to be frogs in this story? 'Cause if not, I'm leaving.**

**Zeus: No frogs. GO!**

Not just seeing things, but feeling things, too. I felt a slight breeze, and when I heard Boots scream, I knew I was in Doraland.

Mynt's P.O.V.

I heard a faint rustling and suddenly Dora appeared between two flowery bushed and asked accusingly, "Got any pipe-weed?" When we looked at her blankly she elaborated. "What? The Hobbits gave me some, and now I'm hooked!" She spoke in an odd husky voice unlike any thing I'd heard come from her mouth before.

"What happened to your _voice_?" asked Zeus, apparently thinking the same thing as me.

"What? It's what smokin' does to ya after a while!" Dora replied haughtily.

"Sooo…How long have you been smoking this…pipe-weed?" I asked hesitantly.

"Ever since I was aired after a lord of the rings special and I traded Bilbo Baggins my flower necklace, so he could wear it to Cinderella's annual birthday ball, in exchange for a year's supply of leaf. Finished it off in two days. May have been a little tipsy. Don't remember. All I remember is the wonderful taste of the pipe-weed," Dora finished. She laid her head on Zeus' shoulder and gave her a dreamy smile. Zeus looked revolted.

Zeus P.O.V.:

Okay. So here was Dora, all tricked out on pipe-weed, with her head on my shoulder. Needless to say, I was pretty creeped out. That's when Boots became my hero.

"Dora!" he called enticingly, "I have some leaf over here! If you don't come now, Diego will get it all!"

"Oh. That Diego is nasty, dude. Gotta run!" she called, not even pausing to look back at us. Without a second thought, I raced after her. There was no _way_ that I was going to be left alone in some random place in Doraland. Even if this was just a dream.


	2. In Which We Exit Doraland

**Disclaimer: Mynt and I don't own Dora, Boots, Diego, any of the many other characters we use, or the places, so… yeah.**

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Chapter 2: In Which We Exit Doraland

Mynt's P.O.V.

I ran after Zeus and Dora. I don't know how far it was, but I was panting by the time we reached Boots and Diego, and that was saying something. Dora had he hands out greedily. She was already licking her lips.

"Leeeeaf!" she said in a mouse-like voice.

"Um… Hello? Uh, Boots?" Zeus called out.

"Oh! Hello there!" Boots answered. "Are you friends of Dora's? I told her not to bring friends here…"

"No. We're not really friends. Just… acquaintances." I said.

"Do you need anything?" Boot's asked.

I said, "No, thanks anyways," just as Zeus said, "Yes, we need help."

"What kind of help?" Boots questioned.

"We need to get home."

"Oh. Then where do you live? The Hundred Acre Woods, perhaps? No?... Maybe Sesame Street?" Boots wondered.

"No. We live on Earth. Not in the TV. The U.S.A?" Zeus made it sound like a question.

"Oh," Boots looked worried. "There's only one way to get back there. You have to go through the portal in BarbieWorld."

"This doesn't sound good," I whispered to Zeus.

"Luckily," Boots brightened, "That's just where we're going. Of course you'd have to get Barbie IDs…" he trailed off. He thought for a minute, and then started up again. From what I could tell he was drug-free. "Okay. Here's what we'll do." He drew a quick map in the dirt. "We'll leave through the north of Droraland. We'll go through Ponyland, where the My Little Ponies live. We'll pick up some friends there and then go into Handy Mannyville where we can get you two some Barbie IDs. We'll pick up Elmo, Cookie Monster, and Spaghetti on Sesame Street…"

"Spaghetti?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. Mr. Spaghetti Noodle. Mr. Noodle," Boots elaborated.

"?" Zeus asked.

"You know. The creepy guy who lives behind Elmo's wall and never talds," I told her.

"Oh, yeah. Go on…" Zeus said.

"As I was saying, after we leave Sesame Street, we'll go into Strawberry Shortcake Land. We'll have to row across Lemonade Lake, and go through the village where we'll pick up Strawberry and Huckleberry Pie. Then we'll cross into BarbieWorld. Her moat is filled with the one thing she fears most."

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Unfashionable clothes."

With that, both Zeus and I were on the ground laughing.

"No, seriously," Zeus said.

"I'm being serious," Boots said with a little frown.

"Okay," Zeus said, plainly not believing Boots. "Go on."

"Well, then Dora, Diego and I can go to Barbie's party, and you can go back through the portal."

Zeus' POV

Two hours ago, I thought Dora was make-believe. Now I was being forced to believe that she was quite real. And I was going to be her travel companion. I was praying that she didn't offer me any pipe-weed along the way. I didn't want to end up like her.

And so, we started our journey. Boots took the lead, seeing how he was the only one who was both sober and knew the way.

We followed Boots through a prairie, where we were confronted by Benny the Bull. He wasn't the same little bull I had seen not three hours ago, helping Dora to find the lost princess, who happened to look exactly like her. (Am I the only one who notices that all the human characters on the Dora shows look exactly like Dora, except for their hair?)

"Yo, dudes! Wus up!" Benny said. "Y'all get outta my grazin' grounds!" he said, shaking a hoof at us.

"Don't give us that attitude, Benny. It's me, your best buddy, Diiieeegooo!" Diego shouted through his cupped hands. His voice was husky, just like Dora's.

Benny scratched the top of his backwards baseball cap, and a second later, a look of comprehension dawned on his face. "Oh! Y'all mean _Diego_! He's my best bud!" There's an obvious reason he's not called Benny the Bright Bull. He's downright dumb. "There you are Diego!" Benny said, rushing forward. He flung himself upon Diego in a huge bull-hug.

Diego managed to mutter just one word. "Ouch!" he squeaked.

An hour later, we came to the border between Doraland and Ponyland, having left Benny the Bull at the edge of his pasture.

There was a violently yellow My Little Pony at the gate leading into Ponyland.

"Hello," she said pleasantly, "My name is Tinkle Pee-Pee, but you can call me Tinkle." Mynt and I exchanged a wondering glance. In all my years of loving My Little Pony had I ever known of a pony named Tinkle Pee-Pee. Rainbow Dash, sure, but Tinkle Pee-Pee, no. "And this is my assistant, Barfy Hurl-Nuggets," Tinkle drew our attention to a smaller puke colored pony next to her.

"Hi!" Barfy said.

"Barfy, hon," Tinkle said, looking at Barfy, "_This_ is how you do border patrol. Watch and learn," she turned back to us, "Got any Pony identification papers?" Tinkle said gruffly, and for a minute I was slightly scared. NO! I wasn't afraid of a pony named Tinkle Pee-Pee, but Mynt and I didn't have these "Pony identification papers," and if we couldn't get into Ponyland, we might never get home!

"No?" Boots said, as if it were a question.

"Okay! Go right in!" she said in a sing-song voice, and opened the gates.

"That's one Crazy Horse," I whispered to Mynt, who nodded, plainly not getting my joke.

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R&R! Haters aren't welcome!


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